then she found me

before you adopt, educate yourself!!

foundthingsart@yahoo.com (When She Found Me) — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 01:08:00 +0000

NOTE FROM AUTHOR:

Unethical practices and adoption scams do not only happen to adoptive parents. Expectant mothers, birth parents, adoptees and adoption professionals are also at risk. The key to an ethical and positive adoption journey is to educate yourself, know who you are working with and thoroughly research your options and the laws. In order for a con to be successful, often times the con will hide under the cloak of legitimate professionals. Or simply not hide at all.

Ethics in adoption is a MUST!

Education is the KEY!

I RECOMMEND THIS for anyone planning to adopt. Please do NOT trust someone without researching. I would not advise using a facilitator without a lawyer (you trust and researched).

I know sometimes in our heart to love and help children

we can make emotional decisions. PLEASE educate yourself. Its possible you can save yourself from a disastrous

outcome if you invest the time.

Please visit this site if you plan to adopt.

life breaks and falls apart

foundthingsart@yahoo.com (When She Found Me) — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 03:55:00 +0000

"...but we know these are

places

where Grace is.

soon to be

So Amazing........."

i find these lyrics so comforting,

with my frozen emotions

unthawing

melting into pools

of utter raw emotion

breaking

falling

shattering before me....

....i lay before the Throne broken

"when anything that is shattered is laid before the Lord,

just watch and see

it will not be.............

unredeemed. "

this worship,

full of passion,

Spirit and promise

wraps its arms around me

i. miss. my. sunshine. girl.

in a way full of nothing but vengeance, judgement, lies

and completely packaged with manipulation for a bow-

she was taken from me, from us

yes literally removed by force

by someone with no authority

someone who misused their position

unfortunately selfishness doesn't allow us to see clearly

and emotional desperation spins ones reasoning outta this hemisphere

there are others who witnessed this slow mo drive by

in disbelief-

it all jumped off the sanity bridge on july 30th

very late in the evening with agenda

arriving in the morning with intimidation

continuing the emotional tilt a whirl of injustice to as i breathe now.

this story, HER story is very unfortunate at the moment

this is what happens when self righteousness, pride

and nothing more than pure jealousy

becomes someone.

it is a VERY ugly becoming

and they even want to tattoo God's name on it.

for the sake of all things True,

put YOUR own name on it!!

i will not bow, i put up boundries

and that is really the problem

fallen man you are not God!

God does not intimidate,lie or manipulate

NOTHING goes unseen before Him

and these ashes He will restore

and be used for good

this is not where my destiny is

this situation can't keep me here!

although the intention was selfish

to see me broken for not bowing

little did you know this will actually strengthen me

and

i will ONLY bow to Him

for such a time as this.

life might be breaking and falling apart

"...but we know these are

places

where Grace is.

soon to be

So Amazing.........

They may be unfulfilled, they may be unrestored

But you never know the miracles the Father has in store

just watch and see it will not be

unredeemed."

encouragement

foundthingsart@yahoo.com (When She Found Me) — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 18:57:00 +0000

as i was reading this morning these words strengthened me.

God is my shield,

saving those whose hearts are true and right.

there are people who think up evil

and plan trouble

and tell lies

they dig a hole to trap others

but they will fall into it themselves

they will get themselves into trouble

the violence they cause will hurt only themselves.

i praise the lord because He does what is right.

I sing praises to the Lord Most High

-psalm 7:10, 14-17

isn't that powerful and encouraging!!

God just keeps me in awe of His beauty!

i know some of you may not understand or know the situation at hand

and it may be even more difficult to not get caught up in gossip

yet if you are even somewhat aware or if you really know me

you must realize

i will not respond to hatred with hatred, nor gossip with gossip,

or fear and intimidation the same.

these characteristics are not what i aspire too.

i have nothing to hide-

the truth is what it is

i will respond only in trusting My Shield

--- to reveal the truth at the right time, and for the right reasons.

the WHOLE truth

foundthingsart@yahoo.com (When She Found Me) — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 04:38:00 +0000

standing before a judge, raising my right hand

i swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth

unfortunately for some, the whole truth may have very devastating consequences.

i will not cover anyone's lies or manipulation.

God is a JUST JUDGE.

He see's all, there is nothing kept from Him!

you can try all you want to paint that judgmental picture with all your self righteous religion

yet the WHOLE truth, is what it is

IN TRUTH there is freedom!!!

NOT fear!

I am not afraid.

unfortunately when one operates in the native language of LIES,

FEAR is your best friend.

yes then, selfish one, you might very well be very afraid of the consequences.

despite all my hurt and even anger, i pray for you,

yes you, selfish one, may you not get what you truly deserve,

because that judgement is very harsh.

my prayer is for Truth and Freedom

I know deep down you are afraid of Freedom

maybe, just maybe you will be so MOVED

and your eyes will begin to see clearly again-

so as to truly comprehend your selfishness

and may the darkness be exposed!

hopefully if or when you can find the Light

and clarity,

your whole life will be rearranged for the better.

i put Love and Grace on the table, you refused them.

i did not force this issue, your selfishness did.

i will put my trust in The Truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

my little butterfly

foundthingsart@yahoo.com (When She Found Me) — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 05:02:00 +0000

she flies.

foundthingsart@yahoo.com (When She Found Me) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 03:48:00 +0000

the girl i love

foundthingsart@yahoo.com (When She Found Me) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 07:18:00 +0000

i've been one busy mama, juggling alot of tough issues with the adoption(s), and not to mention the girl has gots lots of enerG! i want to share the struggles, emotions and her stories with you. she is my sunshine girl!

since the moment we decided to adopt, we have been bombarded with many low blow hits of disctraction,family illness, financial struggle and the truth of who you can trust and call friend. i have been growing sooooo much through the very challenging moments. i want to show you my heart, its brokenness and its joys, yet i have discovered that there are those lurking who have tried to take my most cherished freedom (of expression) and use it to judge me. it has caused me to be guarded for awhile, yet dont ever take my soft spokenness or silence for weakeness......i'm a very stubborn Child of the Freedom Giver.......so go ahead make my day- i will NOT be silent long! the Truth sets me free darlin!! it might appear like i'm getting no where, but appearances are deceiving......those are just circumstances that only make me stronger!!

one of the most heartwrenching news was that our other daughter we were planning to adopt, will not after all be ours. months have passed and i of course i feel extremely selfish as i say this.... i do not want to "replace" her.

so at this moment though the future of our family is unknown... i continually draw near to my one trusted Source of Strength while the current five of us continue to grow in LOVE and unity! together we are sunshine on a rainy day!!!

the doll named LOVE

foundthingsart@yahoo.com (When She Found Me) — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 00:22:00 +0000

the first few days she was here she didn't really have much to play with. she was not used to toys anyhow. i went home & made her a doll. she was a little unsure of it so she gave it to me to hold. i gave the doll a hug and said ohhhh love, love baby. the next day i came to see her, she was in the crib and picked up the doll to hand me as she smiled and said love! oh i just melted!! so now she is called baby love. TRULY though Dieunika is the doll named love!

she now makes her cups of tea and labouyi, does her hair (its so messy she says!), and plays with her all the time! i'll have to capture a photo of them playing.

this cute lil doll has bonded us and inspired me as well. i've drawn Love into a character based on Dieunika. i want to use Love's character to bring awareness to adoption and the issues that children have to work through with their forever family. lets also not forget adoptive parents! it is quite an emotional journey for life! you'll be seeing so much more of Love soon in a book, dolls and t-shirts! my heart leaps to know this will help us work through our emotions, as well as inspire and bond others. Love, its such a gift from the true Creator, who adopted me as well into His Majestic family. It gives a whole new deepth and understanding to life as a Child of the Most High God. we're also going to use this to help raise the much needed funds to cover our adoption. we have taken the financial challenge each step at a time. there is no reason that finances should get in the way of Love! .BE LOVE.

thank you for being apart of our journey of Love!

lil chicken

foundthingsart@yahoo.com (When She Found Me) — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 07:12:00 +0000

if you read this post, you'll get a timeline of when i first met Dieunika back in april 2008. i remember cindy talking about working on a baby's paperwork coming for surgery. i intially thought she was going to be much younger. i had offered before dieunika came to be her host family but cindy said she'd do it, being a nurse and all. i joked-fine then just hog the baby!!! lol

i remember her sitting in the port-a-crib in the eagle room at the CSA center as she looked out at the boys and i while we tried to talk to her. for sure she thought as she peeked out through the mesh we were odd ducks! she spoke only creole and mostly baby talk. she was a cutie pie even though all she kept saying was ban mwen (give me that)! if i recall it was a sticker or paper of some sort. we didn't know but two or three creole words. although cindy is fluent. my youngest was so sweet, he sat and played with her for awhile. she had came with what was only the clothes on her back. she also hadn't any toys in the office yet. then we all didn't know much about her parents and even her. her medical history was unsure of too. all we knew was that she had an colostomy and needed life saving surgery.

she arrived just barely a few months before her 3rd birthday. she was tiny for her age, malnurished. i believe her weight then was around 21 lbs. at that time she was pretty quiet and she wouldn't ask to eat. cindy would have to ask her if she was hungry. she was pretty polite asking before she did anything. it was sweet, and yet i wonder what went through her mind. she was brought to the US by a stranger and then handed off to another. she never asked for her mom or dad. i didn't get to spend but small amount of time with her then. the hurstons were busy getting her ready for surgery and bringing awareness of her story. i remember she followed cindy all around the office, they spent alot of time there. she then came to be known as her 'lil chicken'.

SHE's HOME!!!

foundthingsart@yahoo.com (When She Found Me) — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 10:43:00 +0000

I'm attempting to keep the order of Dieunikas story but I MUST interupt and inject that after a manic few weeks of missing paperwork for her medical visa, not to mention disappointment, heart ache and missing her terribly.....SHE's HOME!! The greatest Christmas present EVER! Her FIRST CHRISTMAS with us! My family is so overwhelmed with joy! Daddy can't stop kissing her!

This is only the beginning of our adoption process, but we are soooooo extremely thankful for the miracle that we have her here with us now. God went before us and all the frustration prior was erased with the issue of her medical visa in ONE day!!! My heart does ache for her mother and father. Their last spent time with her was just a half a day of running around and then waiting for the issuance, as they had to be present for the interview for the medical visa. The look in their eyes as they had a quick goodbye on the side of the road as we left them in the city pierced my heart. With tears in her eyes her mother kissed my cheek and reminded me to please keep in touch. I could barely spit out I will, I will. My tears were nothing to their pain. Once they left, the silence was like a sharp sword of reality. How hard to want to rejoice, especially knowing someone else's sadness and sacrifice. Please keep them in your prayers! All the honor goes to them for their love of Dieunika.

Remembering

foundthingsart@yahoo.com (When She Found Me) — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 04:37:00 +0000

As we deplaned in Port au Prince, I carried her down the steps on my hip. We continued across the long walkway into immigration, past the drummers and welcome signs. I could feel my heartbeat increase and the blood rushing to my head. Taking a deep breath I smiled bravely to her and whispered "We're going to see your Mommy and Papa!". She nodded. Cindy and Joe walked silently next to us. The echo of our footsteps loud. Here we are.

Our passports stamped and bags rolling out into the sun, we looked for their faces. Unfortunately they were not there. Later we found out they had been told to come to the orphanage. We then decided to find food and take the winding road up the mountain to explore the Baptist Mission. We had originally planned on taking the parents with us to talk.

I remember seeing them sitting on the steps of the clinic when the truck pulled into Barabara's village later that day. My mind was calm, I felt peace. I trust you God. I trust you. My eyes closed for just a second to recognize, this wasn't an ending but a beginning. Of excatly what I did not know.

Dieunika and her parents November 2008

foundthingsart@yahoo.com (When She Found Me) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 19:25:00 +0000

The amazing parents who love their little girl so incredibly that they sought help for her internationally. She was born without a bowel. The limited Haitian doctors at her birth created an opening in her stomach for her. Her parents from the very beginning were at a great disadvantage, living in a country where extreme poverty, disease and lacking medical treatment are an everday reality.

Upon her return in November her father recalled to us, the desperate situation that Dieunika's first few years of life consisted of. She had a surgery at birth and another one not to long after. He went to many doctors,hospitals and agencies seeking medical care for her from the day she was born. To her parents she is one of a kind and in desperate need of attention, yet compare that to the incredible amount of sick,starving and dying children and you will get a glimpse of the urgency fading into a sea of faces. This heartbreaking picture is what they lived everyday. He did the best he could with what he had. In a country where working for an 8 hour day is actually a prime luxury and if your really lucky an average day of enduring hard labor you just might earn 20US dollars. Her medical care costs were over the top. They lived one day at a time. Her mother scrubbed her hands and nails to the point of bleeding to ensure that she could keep this open wound free of infection. If you've ever been too or seen photos of Haiti you will have an idea how incredible that this little one did not die due to a parasite or infection! With heart felt emotion her father explains to us after her second surgery, she wouldn't eat and therfore lost alot of weight and they almost lost her. He didn't want her to endure like this any more. So he saught help from the Consulate which brought her situation to Reach Out to Haiti Orphanage.

In steps that could only be connected by God, Air Mobile Ministries became aware of her situtaion. Particularly volunteer Joe Prussell who was so moved by this little girls families desperate grasp for an ordinary life. Upon return after an unrelated mission, Joe Prussel set out to get her the medical attention she needed. Together with Air Mobile Ministries founder Joe Hurston and his wife Cindy, a RN they were able to get her here to the US and meet her medical needs. For over 7 months the Hurstons nurtured this little girl with love and commitment through two surgeries. During this time my family and I helped care for Dieunika as well. Taking each painful step of surgery with her as well as experiencing a lot of first times for her! These moments in time had captured our hearts forever. Watching her sleep I would pray for her future, for her parents and for my heart not to break when she went home. My tears felt so selfish, I wanted what was best for her, yet my heart was breaking for that day we would have to leave her forever. Cindy and I had discussed we would visit her often and try to keep a connection with her. When we came to the time to return her to her parents, both the Hurstons and our family were experiencing with torn hearts the great emotion of letting her go.

to go back, where it all started

foundthingsart@yahoo.com (When She Found Me) — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 08:05:00 +0000

she's walking down the sidewalk
with this hot pink purse with a silver glitter strap
she's wearing new shoes cindy just bought her
cindy's holding her hand and walking into the Air Mobile building
she doesn't smile much, obviously a little overwhelmed
so i bend down to her
and make a comment about her sparkly new purse
cindy said she let her pick out her own
looking at her face i see
the glitter from the strap has made it on to her face
i smile big
her dark eyes stare at me blankly
this is her first of many days at the office.