Saturday, September 5, 2009

before you adopt, educate yourself!!


Unethical practices and adoption scams do not only happen to adoptive parents. Expectant mothers, birth parents, adoptees and adoption professionals are also at risk. The key to an ethical and positive adoption journey is to educate yourself, know who you are working with and thoroughly research your options and the laws. In order for a con to be successful, often times the con will hide under the cloak of legitimate professionals. Or simply not hide at all.

Ethics in adoption is a MUST!

Education is the KEY!

I RECOMMEND THIS for anyone planning to adopt. Please do NOT trust someone without researching. I would not advise using a facilitator without a lawyer (you trust and researched).

I know sometimes in our heart to love and help children

we can make emotional decisions. PLEASE educate yourself. Its possible you can save yourself from a disastrous

outcome if you invest the time.

Please visit this site if you plan to adopt.

Friday, September 4, 2009

life breaks and falls apart

"...but we know these are
where Grace is.
soon to be
So Amazing........."

i find these lyrics so comforting,
with my frozen emotions
melting into pools
of utter raw emotion
shattering before me....

....i lay before the Throne broken

"when anything that is shattered is laid before the Lord,
just watch and see
it will not be.............
unredeemed. "

this worship,
full of passion,
Spirit and promise
wraps its arms around me

i. miss. my. sunshine. girl.

in a way full of nothing but vengeance, judgement, lies
and completely packaged with manipulation for a bow-
she was taken from me, from us
yes literally removed by force
by someone with no authority
someone who misused their position
unfortunately selfishness doesn't allow us to see clearly
and emotional desperation spins ones reasoning outta this hemisphere
there are others who witnessed this slow mo drive by
in disbelief-

it all jumped off the sanity bridge on july 30th
very late in the evening with agenda
arriving in the morning with intimidation
continuing the emotional tilt a whirl of injustice to as i breathe now.

this story, HER story is very unfortunate at the moment
this is what happens when self righteousness, pride
and nothing more than pure jealousy
becomes someone.

it is a VERY ugly becoming
and they even want to tattoo God's name on it.
for the sake of all things True,
put YOUR own name on it!!

i will not bow, i put up boundries
and that is really the problem
fallen man you are not God!
God does not intimidate,lie or manipulate

NOTHING goes unseen before Him
and these ashes He will restore
and be used for good
this is not where my destiny is
this situation can't keep me here!
although the intention was selfish
to see me broken for not bowing
little did you know this will actually strengthen me
i will ONLY bow to Him
for such a time as this.

life might be breaking and falling apart

"...but we know these are
where Grace is.
soon to be
So Amazing.........

They may be unfulfilled, they may be unrestored
But you never know the miracles the Father has in store
just watch and see it will not be

Sunday, August 30, 2009


as i was reading this morning these words strengthened me.

God is my shield,
saving those whose hearts are true and right.

there are people who think up evil
and plan trouble
and tell lies
they dig a hole to trap others
but they will fall into it themselves
they will get themselves into trouble
the violence they cause will hurt only themselves.

i praise the lord because He does what is right.
I sing praises to the Lord Most High
-psalm 7:10, 14-17

isn't that powerful and encouraging!!
God just keeps me in awe of His beauty!

i know some of you may not understand or know the situation at hand
and it may be even more difficult to not get caught up in gossip
yet if you are even somewhat aware or if you really know me
you must realize
i will not respond to hatred with hatred, nor gossip with gossip,
or fear and intimidation the same.
these characteristics are not what i aspire too.
i have nothing to hide-
the truth is what it is
i will respond only in trusting My Shield
--- to reveal the truth at the right time, and for the right reasons.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

the WHOLE truth

standing before a judge, raising my right hand
i swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth
unfortunately for some, the whole truth may have very devastating consequences.

i will not cover anyone's lies or manipulation.

God is a JUST JUDGE.
He see's all, there is nothing kept from Him!
you can try all you want to paint that judgmental picture with all your self righteous religion
yet the WHOLE truth, is what it is
IN TRUTH there is freedom!!!
NOT fear!
I am not afraid.

unfortunately when one operates in the native language of LIES,
FEAR is your best friend.
yes then, selfish one, you might very well be very afraid of the consequences.

despite all my hurt and even anger, i pray for you,
yes you, selfish one, may you not get what you truly deserve,
because that judgement is very harsh.

my prayer is for Truth and Freedom
I know deep down you are afraid of Freedom
maybe, just maybe you will be so MOVED
and your eyes will begin to see clearly again-
so as to truly comprehend your selfishness
and may the darkness be exposed!
hopefully if or when you can find the Light
and clarity,
your whole life will be rearranged for the better.

i put Love and Grace on the table, you refused them.
i did not force this issue, your selfishness did.

i will put my trust in The Truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Monday, July 20, 2009

gotta love the fangs!

the girl i love


i've been one busy mama, juggling alot of tough issues with the adoption(s), and not to mention the girl has gots lots of enerG! i want to share the struggles, emotions and her stories with you. she is my sunshine girl!

since the moment we decided to adopt, we have been bombarded with many low blow hits of disctraction,family illness, financial struggle and the truth of who you can trust and call friend. i have been growing sooooo much through the very challenging moments. i want to show you my heart, its brokenness and its joys, yet i have discovered that there are those lurking who have tried to take my most cherished freedom (of expression) and use it to judge me. it has caused me to be guarded for awhile, yet dont ever take my soft spokenness or silence for weakeness......i'm a very stubborn Child of the Freedom go ahead make my day- i will NOT be silent long! the Truth sets me free darlin!! it might appear like i'm getting no where, but appearances are deceiving......those are just circumstances that only make me stronger!!

one of the most heartwrenching news was that our other daughter we were planning to adopt, will not after all be ours. months have passed and i of course i feel extremely selfish as i say this.... i do not want to "replace" her.

so at this moment though the future of our family is unknown... i continually draw near to my one trusted Source of Strength while the current five of us continue to grow in LOVE and unity! together we are sunshine on a rainy day!!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

the doll named LOVE


the first few days she was here she didn't really have much to play with. she was not used to toys anyhow. i went home & made her a doll. she was a little unsure of it so she gave it to me to hold. i gave the doll a hug and said ohhhh love, love baby. the next day i came to see her, she was in the crib and picked up the doll to hand me as she smiled and said love! oh i just melted!! so now she is called baby love. TRULY though Dieunika is the doll named love!

she now makes her cups of tea and labouyi, does her hair (its so messy she says!), and plays with her all the time! i'll have to capture a photo of them playing.

this cute lil doll has bonded us and inspired me as well. i've drawn Love into a character based on Dieunika. i want to use Love's character to bring awareness to adoption and the issues that children have to work through with their forever family. lets also not forget adoptive parents! it is quite an emotional journey for life! you'll be seeing so much more of Love soon in a book, dolls and t-shirts! my heart leaps to know this will help us work through our emotions, as well as inspire and bond others. Love, its such a gift from the true Creator, who adopted me as well into His Majestic family. It gives a whole new deepth and understanding to life as a Child of the Most High God. we're also going to use this to help raise the much needed funds to cover our adoption. we have taken the financial challenge each step at a time. there is no reason that finances should get in the way of Love! .BE LOVE.

shirt for raffle adoption fundraising

thank you for being apart of our journey of Love!

Monday, February 9, 2009

lil chicken

if you read this post, you'll get a timeline of when i first met Dieunika back in april 2008. i remember cindy talking about working on a baby's paperwork coming for surgery. i intially thought she was going to be much younger. i had offered before dieunika came to be her host family but cindy said she'd do it, being a nurse and all. i joked-fine then just hog the baby!!! lol

i remember her sitting in the port-a-crib in the eagle room at the CSA center as she looked out at the boys and i while we tried to talk to her. for sure she thought as she peeked out through the mesh we were odd ducks! she spoke only creole and mostly baby talk. she was a cutie pie even though all she kept saying was ban mwen (give me that)! if i recall it was a sticker or paper of some sort. we didn't know but two or three creole words. although cindy is fluent. my youngest was so sweet, he sat and played with her for awhile. she had came with what was only the clothes on her back. she also hadn't any toys in the office yet. then we all didn't know much about her parents and even her. her medical history was unsure of too. all we knew was that she had an colostomy and needed life saving surgery.

she arrived just barely a few months before her 3rd birthday. she was tiny for her age, malnurished. i believe her weight then was around 21 lbs. at that time she was pretty quiet and she wouldn't ask to eat. cindy would have to ask her if she was hungry. she was pretty polite asking before she did anything. it was sweet, and yet i wonder what went through her mind. she was brought to the US by a stranger and then handed off to another. she never asked for her mom or dad. i didn't get to spend but small amount of time with her then. the hurstons were busy getting her ready for surgery and bringing awareness of her story. i remember she followed cindy all around the office, they spent alot of time there. she then came to be known as her 'lil chicken'.